


Legacy

by AvengersCompound (emilyevanston)



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Clint Barton Bingo 2019, Deaf Clint Barton, Developing Relationship, Divorced Clint & Laura Barton, Domestic Violence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Marvel Fluff Bingo 2019, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pregnancy, Single Parents, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-03-17 20:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18972073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/AvengersCompound
Summary: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent.When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @marvelfluffbingo - Single Parent AU

It was Nate that had spotted you first.  Of course, Clint knew you’d lived in the building.  He owned it after all.  A lot of things had changed since the battle with Thanos that had brought everyone back.  It was supposed to have fixed everything.  He was supposed to go home and have a happy life with his wife and his kids and everything would be okay.

It wasn’t.

He was different and the problem was, Laura was exactly the same while he’d spent five years on a world wild killing spree.  He’d wanted to die for it.  Only instead it was Nat.  Nat had died so that the rest of her family could live and he couldn’t just settle and give her that.

It should have been him.

The problem was that Laura was still the amazing, caring, supportive person she’d always been.  She never lost him or the kids.  She never had to see Natasha fall to her death.  She didn’t carry the burden of all of this.  He didn’t feel worthy of her.  Or of Nat saving him to go home to her.  He was dirty and … and …

He missed Nat.

God, he missed her every day.  If she was there maybe she could have stopped him acting like a fucking dumbass at home.  Maybe she would have slapped him over the back of the head and called him an idiot for shutting Laura out the way he did.

She wasn’t though and he did and in the end, he’d left.  He didn’t want to keep hurting her.  That was two years ago.  Since then he’d bought this building in Bed-Stuy.  He had joint custody of the kids.  God, Laura had been too good about it.  Lila and Cooper weren’t even technically his kids but she didn’t keep them from him.  He honestly didn’t know what he’d ever done to deserve having her in his life in the first place.  Which was why it hadn’t worked he guessed.

So he has the apartment, the kids every second weekend and for part of the school holidays, he still got on okay with Laura, he had a dog, he managed the building and the girl who had taken over the name Hawkeye when he retired came by every week or so to be mentored or… something.  Maybe it was just to make sure he took care of himself when the kids weren’t there.

He still missed Nat.

You and your boyfriend lived two floors down from his place.  He saw him more than you.  Something about the guy always seemed to sit wrong with Clint.  Like he was the kind of guy who kicked puppies and stole lunch money.  Not that he had evidence he was anything other than polite.  Clint was the landlord, people were polite cause they didn’t want to be evicted.

You, he saw less.  He had known you were pregnant.  He had also noticed the bruises.  He’d asked once how you’d gotten one on your arm and the story was so weird and unlikely he just assumed it was true.  Something about a guy dressed as Darth Vader on the subway.  He was a bruise magnet himself so he’d just assumed you must be too.

Now that he saw you sitting on the steps, your eye swollen, trying to stop yourself from crying so as not to upset the little boy who had just come in the front door and run over to see if you’d hurt yourself, he realized he was a huge fucking idiot.

“Did you fall?  You need some help?”  Nate asked in his small innocent voice.  You wiped your eyes and gave a strained smile.  Your eyes were puffy from crying but the left was also starting to swell shut.  That mixed with an array of bruises up your arm put Clint into immediate fight mode.  He looked up and down the hall for the asshole who thought beating on women - pregnant women at that - was fun.

“Yeah, sweetie.  Just a fall.  I’ll be okay.”  You said.

Lila looked at Clint and frowned.  “Dad?”

“I know, honey,”  He said.  “You and Coop take Nate upstairs.  I’ll be up when I can.”

She nodded and came and took Nate’s hand while Cooper grabbed the lead from Clint and they all made their way upstairs.  When he was sure they were gone he came and sat beside you on the steps.

“Where is he?”  He asked.

You shook your head.  “In the apartment.  He locked me out.”

“I can go throw him out if you like.”

You shook your head again, a look of absolute terror on your face.  “He’d kill you.”

“He’s welcome to try, but tougher guys than him have failed,”  Clint replied.  He turned to you and looked you over.  “What do you want to do?”

“I - I don’t…”  You finally raised your eyes to meet his.  “He got dusted you know?  I thought I was free to form him.  I moved away.  I got a job.  I was happy and then… they came back and… and I mean, that’s good.  Except he did too and he found me and I was right back here again.”

Clint wanted to hold you.  Or at least take your hand and tell you it was going to be okay.  That he would be the person he had needed when he was a child.  He felt guilty too.  It was partially due to him that everyone had come back.  He wouldn’t change it, but he’d never thought about the fact that bringing people back might mean making life worse for people.  He held back though.  You and he were practically strangers and you had a guy who was fine with laying hands on you when you didn’t want him to.  He didn’t want to add to that.  “I’m sorry.”  He said softly.  “I think we should call the cops.”

“I tried once.  He told them some story and they believed him.”  You said.

“We’ll now you have an ex-Avenger backing you up.”  He said.  “Here’s what I think we can do.  We go upstairs, call the cops.  Get him arrested.  While they’re processing him, we go get your stuff and move it up to the apartment near mine.  Then we get a restraining order and work at having him serve time.”

You looked up at him with such hope and fear.  “I don’t want to be with him but if death can’t keep him away…”

“Then I will.  I’m an Avenger.”  He said.

“Ex -”

“Ex-Avenger.”  He said with a nod.  “Trust me, okay.  I spent half my life keeping people safe.  This is what I do.”

You ran your hand over the small swell of your stomach and nodded.  “Okay.”

He led you upstairs and called the cops while Lila doted over you, making you tea and bringing you ice for your eye.  Nate brought you some of his toys to show you and Clint watched as you listened to all his little stories intently.  It made his heartbreak that little bit more for you.  You were going to be a great mom, but the choice you now had was, do it alone or with that fucker downstairs.

When the cops came he sat quietly and listened to you tell your story.  After the arrest was made he even took you to the station so you could press charges, leaving Cooper in charge.  God, the fact Cooper was both old enough to babysit while at the same time five years younger than he should be was something he still had trouble thinking about.  He felt both too old and yet somehow things weren’t at the place they should be.

When you got home the two of you ordered a pizza for the kids and while they waited for it, he took you downstairs to grab your things from the apartment.

“I don’t know how I’m gonna do this.  I don’t have any savings.  I don’t have a job.”  You said as you pulled down a suitcase.

“We’ll move you next door.  You can stay there until you figure yourself out.  Don’t worry about the rent or the utilities.”  Clint said.

“I couldn’t let you do that.”  You said.

“Yes, you can.  It’s my building.  I can let anyone I want to live here.”  He said.

You sighed as you shoved clothes into a bag.  “Most of this stuff isn’t mine.  I don’t even have any furniture.”

“Hey, trust me, I know exactly how you feel right now.  Sometimes taking the beating and knowing is better than escaping it and not.  You can stay with me for a while.  You can take the bed.  I’ll sleep on the couch.  I know people.  I might be able to get you work, while you still can.  Shit, you can run the books on the building if you want.  We can find second-hand furniture.  I might even have Nate’s old crib back at his mom’s and his old baby stuff.  You aren’t alone right now.”

You stopped and looked at him, sizing him up.  “Why are you doing this?  You don’t even know me.  I could be anyone.  You have kids to worry about.”

He smiled sadly.  “I told you.  I’ve been there.”  He said.  “Besides, I think I’m a pretty good judge of character.  My best friend…”   He stopped, he didn’t think he had it in him to talk about Nat.  Not now.  Not like this.  He shook his head.  “I got told to kill Thor one time, and I knew that was the wrong choice.”

“Thank you, Mister Barton,”  You said not meeting his eyes.  “I don’t know how I’m ever going to repay you for this.”

“Just… get away from him.  You deserve to be safe.  So does your baby.”  Clint said.  “And call me Clint.  I don’t even know who Mister Barton is, but it’s not me.”

You chuckled and nodded.  “Okay, Clint.  Thank you.”

Clint nodded and grabbed a couple of your packed bags.  While he still worried for you, and he was sure that wouldn’t pass anytime soon, it did feel good to know he was still able to help people who needed it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @marvelfluffbingo - Neighbor AU

You’d spent the week at Clint’s place before you were able to set the next door apartment up enough that you could actually live in it.  In that week a whole slew of things happened that you had felt would break you but somehow didn’t.

First thing was, was Richard was let out on bail the following morning.  He’d come back to the apartment block fuming and when he saw the notice of eviction and the locks changed he’d come storming upstairs and bashing on the door.  Clint had told you to go wait in the bedroom with the kids.

Richard had bellowed at Clint.  He called him an interfering asshole.  Screamed at Clint that it was none of his business.  That he had no right to lock him out.  That he was a fucking piece of shit nobody and that’s why he couldn’t cut it as an Avenger anymore.  Clint had just calmly taken it all.  Never once raising his voice.  That’s when Richard had snapped and from the spot you’d taken peering through a crack in the door, you’d seen Richard swing at him.

You had then gotten to see exactly why Clinton Francis Barton had been taken on as an Avenger in the first place.  He had stepped aside and using Richard’s forward moment, he elbowed him in the middle of the back and knocked him to the ground.  Richard raised his head and saw you and you slammed the door closed.  There was a fight.  You could hear fist hitting flesh and things being broken.

When Clint called to you, he had Richard pinned to the ground with several of the neighbors there as witnesses.  The police had come and arrested him again.  It turns out, attacking an Avenger - even an ex one - was a lot more serious a crime than attacking your pregnant girlfriend.  Somewhat akin to assaulting a police officer or something.

Which led to the second thing that made you nearly breakdown, this time in relief.   He didn’t get bail.  Reoffending immediately combined with attacking an Avenger meant he had to stay in prison until his trial.

Following that, you had then been set upon by people in the building.  Bringing you things they no longer needed to help furnish your new home.  Just between your neighbors, you received linen, mismatched dinnerware, silverware, and a couch that was a little ratty and worn but still very comfortable.  They also bought food.  Dishes and dishes of it.  Until the small freezer that came with the apartment was filled to the brim and most of the fridge was too and it bled over into Clint’s.

Then Clint had said he’d just buy the other bigger things you might need.  When you had argued with him over it, he said he could always just rent the place as furnished later, or if you really wanted to, you could pay him back but you couldn’t live there with no bed.  So he’d taken you to Ikea and gotten the last few things you needed to move in.

Finally, after everything he’d already done for you, when he didn’t even really know you, he’d organized to have an interview at Stark Industries.  It wasn’t a job, but just that starting point when you’d been out of work for months thanks to Richard, was the foot in the door you desperately needed.  You worried.  You had the experience, but you were pregnant.  You weren’t exactly going to be able to keep working for long.

Which was worse?  Being in an abusive relationship or being completely alone?

It had been a full week and it had led you here, sitting on the couch with Clint.  This near stranger who had just changed your life.

“You can get your bed back tomorrow.”  You said.

“Mmm… that will be nice, this couch has been killer on my back.”  Clint teased.

“I can take the couch you know.”  You said.  “You’ve already done way too much for me.”

He shook his head.  “Laura would kill me if she found out I let a pregnant woman sleep on this piece of crap couch.”

“I don’t… Thank you.  I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t decided to help me.”  You said.

He gently touched your shoulder.  It was funny just one week ago if he’d tried that you would have flinched away from him.  Now, it was actually comforting.  You welcomed it and leaned into him a little.  “You don’t have to keep thanking me, you know?”

“I know but…”

He raised his eyebrow at you as if to say ‘seriously’ and you chuckled and shook your head.

“But…”  You continued.  “I just don’t know why you’d do that.  I keep expecting you to hit on me or something.  You know, that this is a transactional help.”

Clint frowned.  “He really fucked with your head didn’t he?”

You nodded.  “Yeah, he did.  But I’ve been with him for a long time.  No one else has ever even asked if I was okay outside of asking me what happened.”

Clint sighed and pulled away from you.  It was almost like he was ashamed of his reasonings and thought if you heard them, you’d judge him for it, even after everything he’d done.  “I guess there’s a couple of reasons.  When I was a kid I was pretty badly abused by my dad.  I guess that’s a big one.  No one ever really did anything to help me when I was trapped with that.  I don’t think I can just look the other way.”

You reached over and took his hand, and he linked his fingers with yours.  It was a reflex action.  At some point in his life, when Clint Barton had struggled, someone would take his hand and now when a hand slipped into his, his fingers closed around it without thinking.  You wondered if that had been his ex.

“You know when everyone died I lost my kids and my wife?  Cooper should be 18 now.  That’s so fucking weird.  Seeing that 13-year-old boy who’s just starting to get the starts of the man who he’ll be when he should be at college or some shit.”

He paused and let out a breath, shaking his head.  “I went crazy.  I couldn’t understand how my three innocent kids and my wife who had done nothing except support me even when I wasn’t the best husband in the world, had died just like that.  I didn’t even see it happen.  I was there teaching Lila archery I turned around and it happened while I wasn’t looking.  I didn’t know what was going on.  And we live in the middle of nowhere.  I thought they were pranking me and I looked and I looked.  I think something inside me broke.  When I finally found out what was going on I was so angry that they could be taken and yet the world was still full of complete scum.  I went around killing as many of the people I decided didn’t deserve to be alive as I could.”

He wouldn’t look at you as he spoke so you just sat stroking your thumb over the back of his hand, hoping that you could reassure him.  Let him know it was okay.  He swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing.

“My friend, Natasha.  Black Widow, you know her?”  He asked.  You nodded.  Obviously, you didn’t know her - know her, but you knew who she was.  Everyone knew who she was.  She was one of the Avengers that was lost.  While Tony Stark had tributes everywhere as large and vibrant as he had been.  Natasha Romanoff had been remembered in quieter ways.  Small shrines set up in cities in dark alleys and secret spots.  “She came and got me.  Pushed me back on track.  We had to … Fuck… I don’t even know how to explain it.  There was a point.  One of us had to die.  I tried to be the one.  She stopped me.  She wanted me to live so I could go back and take care of my family.  Only everything was different for me now.  Wasn’t it?  I’d become this monster while they’d stayed the same.  I don’t know if it was just in my head or what but it was just wrong.  Ya know?”

He turned his head and looked at you, with such pain and guilt written on his features.  You did know though.  Right now half the world existed having lived with the trauma of losing what had felt like everything.  So much had changed since then.  For you, it had meant moving forward.  For many others, it had meant stagnating in trauma.  There were children who had lost parents.  Parents who had lost children.  People had died from fall out.  Planes crashing because the pilot suddenly disappeared.  Power plants exploding because they’d suddenly lost half the people who were manning them.  People died during operations because their surgeons turned to dust on them.  The world had been in mourning for five years and then everyone had reappeared and they were lost and confused because the people they had loved had changed and grown and they were still the same.  You’d kept thinking about people like Clint whose kids had not grown.  Or worse the kids whose parents had come back to find them adults now.  Or twins where one was still small and innocent and the other was grown and hard.  You knew.  Of course, you knew.  A lot of families had not been able to survive people coming back.

You gently rubbed his arm.  “Yeah.  I know.”

“I failed her.  She gave up her life so I could be with my family and I couldn’t keep us together for her.”  He said.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t have ever just left you, but maybe before I would have just convinced you to go to a women’s shelter.  Now?  I gotta try and do something with my life that might actually mean that Nat’s death wasn’t a huge fucking waste.  And I hate that.  I hate that her death is what’s making me feel like this.  I should just be this person.  I wish I could go back and have it be me.  She would just be good because she was good.”

You wrapped your arms around him and held him as he melted against you.  “Clint, you’re still here with your kids.  The world has changed.  You still get to see your kids grow.”

“I know.”  He said quietly.   “I just… I had to help.”

You pulled back and gave him a friendly shove. “Well just know, I appreciate it and I’m really glad I get to be your neighbor.”

He smiled at you.  “I’m looking forward to it too.  It’s been nice having you here.”

You smiled and curled into his side.  Something you hadn’t felt comfortable doing with anyone in a long time.  He wrapped his arm around you and turned on the television.  You had been wondering this whole week which god you had to thank for sending Clint Barton to you.  Turns out her name was Natasha Romanoff.  You decided then and there you would watch out for him for her.  Her sacrifice was not going to go to waste.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @marvelfluffbingo - Hurt/Comfort

Clint was really beginning to enjoy the summer.  It had been a long, long time since he could remember actually really enjoying one.  Not since everyone had turned to dust.  It was a season that had been tainted.  The last time he had really remembered enjoying it was the one where his family had died.

Since then there were five where he’d been alone, furious and broken.  Where the summer was just an uncomfortable season where he remembered everything he lost.  Then there was one year where all he felt was guilt and melancholy.  Guilt over the fact he couldn’t be what Laura needed him to be and melancholy over a season he usually mourned.

This year had been better.  He had the dog now and his kids were with him.  He’d take them to Central Park and visit the Zoo or go to Heckscher Playground and let them run around in the water.  He’d taken them to see movies where they’d sat in the cool watching all the new features that had been made now half of Hollywood had reappeared.  He’d taken them to see the Mets play and down to Coney Island to visit Luna Park.  He was making the effort to be who they needed him to be at least.  Cooper and Lila had already lost one dad.  They didn’t deserve to lose another.  Even if he had already mourned their deaths.

One thing that was helping him a lot was you.  Part of it was probably a huge case of white knight syndrome.  He was aware of it.  He wouldn’t have joined the Avengers if he didn’t get a kick out of helping people.  He helped people a lot.  It was kind of his thing.  It was more than that though.  Yeah, he was happy he’d gotten you away from that asshole of a boyfriend.  Yeah, he was happy that he’d set you on your feet so you could do this whole pregnancy thing without the looming threat of a man that beat you or not being able to provide for them.  Mostly he just liked having you around.

He’d shut people out.  It wasn’t just that he wasn’t letting new people in, he’d also shut out the friends and family he already had.  Opening that door for you seemed to open up a little bit of the man he used to be before all this happened.  Not only that, without Richard looming over you, you started to come to life.  You were like a breath of fresh air.  Even after you moved into the apartment next door you’d come by to have meals with them.  Often bringing over some of the dishes the neighbors had been making, sometimes cooking from scratch.  While he missed eating pizza as much as he was, it was definitely good to that the kids were eating better.  Laura would be happy to hear it in any case.

You’d gotten a job at Stark Industry basically doing data entry.  It wasn’t much, but it was something that you could sit for and it would last you until you couldn’t work anymore.  On your days off you were with them.  You came to movies and the park and the zoo.  The kids had all bonded with you quite closely considering it had only been a month and a half.  He liked seeing you with them.  He liked you.  He liked himself with you.  He started to recognize the guy he’d used to be.  The one that was happy and flirtatious and hadn’t lost his family.

Which kinda sucked because he couldn’t see how there was any chance for you two to be anything.  He couldn’t properly hit on you.  The flirting was harmless but you’d just gotten out of an abusive relationship.  You needed time and space.  You’d already said you’d worried that he wanted something from you as payment.  He wasn’t exactly in the best place either.  How was he supposed to make a new relationship work when he’d fucked his marriage up so badly?  Not to mention you were pregnant.  It upped the stakes.  He had to be really sure that there was something there before he messed with your life.  The problem was that he was never sure about that kind of thing.

It has been Nat that has introduced him to Bobbi.  It has been Nat who has pushed him towards Laura.  He didn’t know if he had it in him to try without he smacking him over the back of the head.

As the summer drew to a close he had really started to relax.  It was a weird sensation after so many years where he wouldn’t let himself.  You were at his apartment with the kids waiting for Laura to pick them up.  You were all playing Mario Kart.  He couldn’t quite believe how much fun he was having.  The kids were being hypercompetitive.  You were shoving him every time he got in the lead to try and make him crash.  Everyone was laughing and screaming, but that good kind of screaming where you’re having so much fun it comes out as shrieks.  Each time you pushed against him he felt a warm tingle inside him.  That little flutter of potential.  He wanted it to go away but at the same time, he liked it.  He liked that he could feel that again.

You shoved him again making him fly his baby Luigi off the side of the rainbow road.  “Oh, that’s it!”  He said trying to grab your controller out of your hands.

“No!”   You squealed, climbing up the back of the couch.  He wrestled with you for it making everyone laugh and Lucky start to bark excitedly.

“Yes!  You want to play dirty, we’ll play dirty.”  He teased.

There was a knock at the door and Lila jumped up and ran over to answer it.  “Mom!”  She squealed.

Everyone froze and looked over to see Laura standing in the doorway looking bemused.

“Mommy!”  Nate yelled, running over to Laura and throwing himself at her.  She caught him and picked him up as she pulled Lila into a hug too.

“Hey, guys.  I missed you.”  She said as she held them close.

Clint stood a little startled.  He knew Laura was coming today but he thought he had a few more hours.  He checked the microwave clock but it was flashing 12.00 as it had been since the day he moved in.  “Are you early?”

“Yeah, sorry.”  She said.  “I totally misjudged how long it would take to get here.  I don’t wanna rush them out or anything.  I do have that baby stuff you asked for in the car though.”

“Oh, great.  Thanks, Laur.”  He said and introduced the two of you.  “How about we go get that and you guys pack up the last of your stuff and then we can all go out and grab an early dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,”  Laura said putting Nate down.

“You mind helping them out?”

You nodded.  “Sure of course.  Come on you lot.”

Clint followed Laura downstairs leaving you and the kids to pack up their things.  “I hope this stuff is okay.  It’s all really old now.”  Laura said as she made her way down the stairs.  “I forgot that until I was going through it and it was covered in almost a decade of dust.”

Clint sighed and nodded.  “I guess if it’s no good we can have a baby shower and buy whatever else.”

Laura looked at him and raised her eyebrow.  “We?  Is this your baby, Clint?”

“What?  No.  I’d have told you I was with someone.”

“Well, that’s something at least.”  She said with a shake of her head.  “Who is this woman, Clint?  Why are you doing this?”

“She doesn’t have anyone.  And her ex was beating her.  I… Laur, I couldn’t do nothing.”

“There’s doing something and then there’s bending over backward.”  She said.  “Do you want something to happen with her.”

“No.  It’s not like that…”  He said.

“Clint, I just saw you.  I know what you look like when you’re falling for someone.”

He sighed and opened the door for her to go outside.  “I just… Laura.  She needed someone.  I couldn’t be who you needed me to be.  I tried.  And I wish it was different.  But it’s not.  And she needed help.  I can give her that.  I should be dead and I’m not so I need to do something to make it count.”

Laura stopped and looked him over.  She approached him and cupped his jaw.  It was such a familiar move yet it was like it was something that used to happen to a whole other man.  “I miss her too, Clint.  Every single day.  And I miss you.  But you aren’t the man I miss.  I think he died right along with us, only we don’t remember that happening.”

Clint opened his mouth to say something.  To apologize or try to explain or something.  She put her finger on his lips.  “It’s okay, Clint.  I can’t even try to understand what those five years were like.  I’m not even sure I want to.  You aren’t who you were before.  But the world isn’t what it was before.  It’s different and maybe you’re right.  Maybe she needs you.  But maybe you need her too.  Just…”  She paused and took a deep breath, caressing his cheek with her thumb.  “Be careful.  For both your sake.”

He nodded leaning his head into her hand a little.  “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“I love you, you know that?”  Laura said.  “If helping her, or being with her helps you find yourself, do it.  Be happy.”

He smiled sadly and nodded.  “I love you too.”  He said.  “I wish…”

“Me too, Clint.  But let’s not dwell on it anymore.  We’ve all lost too much.  Time to move forward.”  She said.  “Now help me get these things outta my car.”

Clint nodded and popped the trunk.  He did wish things were different in so many ways.  Laura was right though, it was time to move forward.  Most likely nothing would happen between you and him.  It was unfair of him to expect it would.  He could be your friend and he hadn’t made a new one in a long time.  That was a good start.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @clintbartonbingo - Flirting, @marvelfluffbingo - pregnancy

Clint was incredibly good at flirting.  It came so naturally to him it was almost like breathing.  He successfully flirted with the girls at the coffee place to get free donuts. He flirted with the ticket inspectors to let him move his car before they gave him a ticket.  He flirted with the pizza delivery guy, every single time he shows up, not for any reason.  It was just his default state.

He also flirted with you.

You tried not to read anything into the small touches and the less than subtle innuendo he dropped from time to time.  Nor to the way he laughed at your jokes, even the really terrible ones.  Especially the really terrible ones.  You didn’t read into the invites out to dinner.  Or the way he held doors open for you or carried your groceries upstairs.  You didn’t read into any of it, because that’s how Clint Barton was.  It had nothing to do with you specifically.  Why exactly would an ex-Avenger be interested in some pregnant nobody?  You had more baggage than anyone, there was no way he wanted to carry that in any kind of romantic capacity.

So you tried not to read into it.  As sweet as he was, or as caring, funny, smart, hot, you just told yourself, sweet, caring, funny, smart, hot, Hawkeye was just like that with everyone and when he was like it with you, it was because you had a pulse and you were nearby.

You were nearby a lot actually.  Apart from the data entry work you did at Stark Industries, you were around Clint most of the time.  Laura had taken the kids back to the farm so they could get back to school after summer vacation.  It meant Clint really didn’t have a lot to occupy his time except for unclogging the occasional toilet for the tenants of his building or doing training stuff with the new Hawkeye when she showed up.  He seemed to like to spend what other available time with you when you were around.

You assumed due to being a helpless baby deer at the moment, he’d just adopted you.  He did seem to just do that with people too.  He had Kate.  Wanda Maximoff seemed to have some kind of paternal bond with him.  Even his two oldest kids were adopted.  You were just one of his little injured birds that he liked to keep under his wing.

The problem was, you really liked him.  Like really, really.  So you couldn’t help but feel your face heat up when he complimented you.  Or your skin prickle when he put his hand on yours.  Or when you imagined those hands on your elsewhere.  Caressing your skin, cupping your breasts, sliding between your legs and…

Which brought you to the second problem.  You were so horny.  You didn’t know if it was just because you liked him or because you hadn’t had any sex for months (good sex for years), or if it was just the pregnancy hormones.  It was probably a mixture of all three things together.  It was driving you crazy.  You were burning through batteries in your vibrator in a vague hope that you might make a small dent in the mountain of sexual frustration that was currently weighing you down.

You were feeling it now.  Just home from work, doing that walk from your pantry to your fridge and back again because you hoped something would jump out of you to eat when it wasn’t really food that you were craving at all.

There was a knock at your door and even though you knew it was probably Clint (he always waited for you to get home and then showed up while you were thinking about what you were going to eat) you checked the peephole just to make sure.  His blue eyes were what you saw first, followed by his cute smile.

You opened the door and he greeted you with a kiss on the cheek and his hand on your arm.  “Hey.  I ordered Chinese.  You want some?”

“Yeah, alright.”  You agreed and followed him back to his apartment.

He held the door open for you and you went and sat on his couch.  Lucky came over and put his head on your lap.  You patted him absentmindedly as you watched Clint go into his kitchen and open the fridge.  “Want a drink?”  He asked, pulling a beer out for himself.

“You have iced tea?”  You asked.

He grabbed a bottle from the fridge and came and sat beside you, handing it to you.  “How was your day.”  He asked.

“Alright.  Data entry is kinda mindless, which is probably why they trust me with it.”  You said, making Clint snort.  “So, you know. Low stress, but not exactly thrilling either.  Can’t complain.  Baby’s been kicking like crazy.”

“Yeah?  Can I feel?”

You nodded and he put his hand on your stomach.  You shifted it a little to where you could feel them pressing against your side.  He smiled and leaned down.  “Hey there kiddo, you been mean to your mom?”

“They aren’t so bad.  But my back is killing me.”  You said looking down at him.  Not for the first time you wished this was different.  That you had met Clint in some normal person way and had dated and this was his baby and not fucking Richard’s.

“I can rub it for you.”  Clint offered, making that wish a little bit stronger.

“Really?”

He nodded and you moved, turning in your seat a little and sitting forward so he could reach your back.  He started to rub your lower back, working out the knots and tension you were holding.  He moved his fingers with practiced ease.  The right amount of pressure in just the right places.  You wondered if this was a skill that came easily to him because of how much he used his hands or if it was something he had perfected when Laura was pregnant.

He hit a spot in your back that made a muscle pop and then relax.  You moaned.  A sound that came out of you completely involuntarily.  Clint started laughing.  “What was that?”

Your face heated up and nudged him.  “Don’t.  It feels good.”

“Apparently.”  He said.  “That was quite the noise.  I haven’t heard anyone make a noise like that in a long time.”

“I bet you haven’t.”  You teased, making him laugh louder.

“Hey!  Are you questioning my technique?”  Clint asked.

“You even have a technique?”

Clint lost it completely and wrapped his arms around you, tickling your sides.  “How dare you?  I have a great technique.”

“Don’t!”  You squealed. “I’m pregnant! I’ll pee myself!”

Clint wrapped you in his arms and you melted in against him and made a soft grumble sound.

“What was that noise?”  Clint asked.

“I was just thinking how comically cruel the world is that being pregnant makes me horny as fuck and also makes it impossible to find anyone to fuck.”  You said.

“I - I - I … you - you - but …”  Clint babbled.  “Have you been trying to fuck anyone?”

“No.”  You said hiding your face in his chest.

He let out a breath and patted your back slightly awkwardly.  “People would want to have sex with you if you went looking.”

“Who.  Who would want to have sex with some pregnant chick with a boatload of baggage?”   You scoffed.

“I - I - you could …”  He stammered and you pulled back and looked at him.  He raised his eyes to meet yours.  “Me.  I would.”

You blinked your eyes not quite sure what that even meant.  Was it a hypothetical.  He would if it wasn’t you?  “You would?”

“Yeah.  Yes.”  He ran his hand through his hair.  “Okay… okay, look.  I … kinda… really… like you.  A lot.”

You wondered if you were having some kind of mental snap.  That you were hallucinating the things you really wanted to here.  “You kinda really like me a lot?”

“Yeah and… well, I’d fuck you.  But… also… maybe we could…”

He trailed off and you looked at him with your head tilted not sure how that sentence ended.

“… Date.”

You opened your mouth to say something but no words seemed to want to come out. You seemed frozen.  Like time had stopped and you were just going to be stuck in this position for eternity.  When you finally got unstuck you lunged at him.  Your mouths crashed together and he pulled you into his lap, so you were straddling him.

You kissed passionately.  Hungrily.  Mouths moving together.  Tongues circling each other’s.  You rocked your hips in his lap and he ran his hands over your stomach.  This was everything you had wanted for months now.  Your cunt dripped for him.  You moaned loudly.

There was a knock at the door.

“Fuck.”  He said pulling back.  “The food.”

“I’ll get it.”  You said getting up.  He nodded, shifting in his seat and trying to hide the very obvious erection he was sporting.  You grabbed the money Clint had put by the door and paid the delivery guy.  You brought the food to the couch and put it on the coffee table.  “You think that was… I dunno a sign.”

“Don’t think I believe in signs.”  He said.  “But I dunno, maybe we should talk about it first.”

You picked up the box with the egg rolls and took one out, biting it and chewing it slowly.

“I never… I didn’t help you because I wanted to screw you.  Just so you know.”  He said taking one for himself.

“I didn’t think you did.”  You said.

“I just…”  He sighed and you leaned into him.  He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pressed his cheek on your forehead.  “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me.”

“I don’t, Clint.”  You said.  “I like you too.  I might even be in love with you.  But… I have so much baggage.”

“And I don’t?  I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t even know if I have the ability to have a relationship.  Laura… she’s a good person.  I was in love with her and then the dusting…”

You shook your head.  “The fucking dusting.  We all wanted it undone.  We all wanted to go back.  But then… we can’t can we?  It happened?  And now we have to live with it.”

Clint frowned and nodded.  “We do.”

You turned and looked up at him again.  “I like you.  I don’t think it’s just because I see you as my hero.  Which you are.  I just, genuinely like being with you.  If you do to…?”

He leaned in and kissed you again.  Deeply and full of love.  You wrapped your arms around him and he leaned you back into the couch.

“Mm… stomach.”  You mumbled against his lips.

He pulled back again.  “Shit, right.  How do you want to do this?”

You stood and slowly, feeling very self-conscious, stripped off your clothes.  Clint watched you, his lips parted and his eyes blown out with lust.  When you unfasted your bra and let it fall, he quickly scrambled to get his clothes off.  You watched him as he watched you.  He had that thin muscular kind of body, that was built for agility rather than brute strength.  When he was naked he stood and pulled you close kissing you again.  His hands ran over your body.  He teased your breasts, sending little jolts through you.  He skimmed them down your back and squeezed your ass.  He ran them over your belly, holding it a moment before running one down between your legs and palming your cunt.

“Fuck,”  He sighed.  “You’re so wet.”

“I told you,”  You teased.  “I’m horny as fuck.”

“Better do something about that then.”  He said and kissed you again.

You moved back onto the couch and broke the kiss turning around so you were kneeling on the couch cushions and you were leaning on the arm.  He grabbed his pants and pulled out his wallet, fetching a condom and rolling it on before he moved between your legs.

“You’re sure?”  He said as he ran the head of his cock up and down your folds.

“Yes, Clint.  Please.  Please fuck me.”   You pleaded.

He ran his hand down your side and slowly sunk in.  You both moaned as his cock penetrated you and you squeezed around it, digging your hands into the fabric of the couch.

He started to thrust.  Slow and deep at first and gradually picking up his pace.  As he did he peppered kisses down your back and on your shoulder.  You turned your head and he captured your lips and kissed you hungrily as he started to fuck you harder and harder.  You were so sensitive and so turned on that it felt like he couldn’t make a wrong move.  You were coming apart for him and it only took him squeezing your breasts as he pounded into you for your orgasm to break.

“Fuck.”  You groaned as your body quaked with it.  He groaned and pressed his head to your shoulder, keeping up his pace.  His hand moved between your legs and he rubbed your clit.  You weren’t even sure if your first orgasm ended when the second began.  It tore through you making your whole body clench up.  You cried out and he jerked inside you and came.

He slipped out and pulled down the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around you.

You sat back panting as he got up to toss the condom out.  “So that happened.”  He said when he returned.  He had a warm washcloth and he gently cleaned you up.

“Mmm… was good.  After we eat, you think it could happen again?”  You asked.

He smiled and nodded.  “Yeah.  I think I have a few more times in me tonight.”  He teased.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @clintbartonbingo - Crying

For the next month or so things were with you were in a real gray zone.  He had said he liked you, you had returned the sentiment.  You’d fucked.  A lot.  That night alone it had been six times before he had to throw in the towel, so to speak.   Since then, that was how it had been.  Day-to-day, nothing had changed.  You were his neighbor.  You worked at S.I.  The two of you hung out and helped each other out as best you could.  And you’d fuck.

On the two weekends, he’d had custody of the kids, the two of you just pretended like nothing was going on between the two of you.  You would do things with them if you were invited but otherwise, you left him to be with them.  You never kissed him in front of them.  In fact, outside of the fucking, you never kissed.

Clint wasn’t sure if it was actually dating or not.  You had dinner together but it was mostly just at home, either you cooking or him ordering in.  If you went out, it was more a case of you just happened to be out and you grabbed something.  It was never planned.  Never an actual date.  He’d told Laura that that’s where the two of you were relationship-wise, and she’d shaken her head and told him to be careful.

 You were about seven months pregnant now, and Clint had started to worry.  He worried that if nothing got defined either it would end when the pregnancy hormones let you have just a normal person’s sex drive, or it wouldn’t and that poor kid would have this neighbor guy in their life who they didn’t know how to define either.  ‘Sometimes he and mommy have sleepovers and he’s always there for dinner, but otherwise, I don’t know him’.

Clint was scared of definitions.  Start calling yourself a husband and then one day you have to call yourself an ex-husband.  You can’t be an ex anything if you never labeled it in the first place.  He didn’t want to mess up your life or make it more complicated though.  Maybe it was time to define it.

He knocked on your door but it was eerily quiet inside.  He was about to give up and go home when Lucky barked at the stairwell and started wagging his tail like crazy.  You appeared a moment later and quickly wiped your face, forcing a smile.

“Hey, buddy.”  You said, patting him.

Clint rushed to your side and put his arm around your waist.  “What happened?  What is it?”  He asked.

You shook your head but you started crying again.  “It’s stupid.”  You said.

“Stupid is my expertise.  Come on.  Let’s get you inside and you can tell me all about it.”  He said and led you inside.

You sat down on his couch and he went and got you an iced tea.  He wished he had hot tea.  This was a hot tea situation, but the only hot drinks he had were coffee and some of the weird flavored instant cocoa packets the kids liked.

He sat down next to you and you curled up into his side.  “So what happened?”

“I just had my first antenatal class.”  You said, clearly trying very hard not to cry.  Your brow was furrowed and you were staring at the bottle of iced tea in your hands.  “But…. I was alone.  And everyone there was with someone.  Everything was set up for couples.  I just wanna learn how to breathe through the contractions and how to change a diaper.  I don’t wanna be reminded that I’m alone with this.”

Clint pulled you a little closer to him and rubbed your arm.  “You’re not alone.”

You shook your head.  “What?  You’re gonna go to the classes?  Be there when I give birth.  Watch me shit myself on a table?”

Clint laughed gently and kissed the top of your head.  “I’ve been at a birth before you know?”

“Yeah, your wife’s labor.”  You said putting the emphasis on the word wife.  Making sure it was clear that whatever was going on between the two of you didn’t include being a birthing partner.

Clint sat back, rubbing your shoulders.  “What are we?”  He asked.

You looked back at him and tilted your head, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand.  “I - I don’t …”

“Look,”  He said.  “I told you I liked you.  You said you loved me.  Then we had sex and nothing really changed, except now we have sex.  I … I think we should… I want to …”

“Clint,”  You said.  “I’m just worried.  We haven’t known each other very long.  I do love you.  I wasn’t lying.  But… but if I rely on you too much and this doesn’t work out…”

Clint ran his hand down your back.  “I know.  I know.  I have kids too.  I know you gotta think about their welfare too.  But… this is real.  And if it’s real then I want to be there for you.  For both of you.”

“So what?  You’re gonna be their dad?”  You asked.

“Maybe.  Yes.  I want to be with you.  I want to label us.  To actually be something other than friends who have feelings for each other and keep having sex but won’t actually take a plunge into being serious because we’re worried about our kids getting attached.”

You started crying again and he felt a panic rising up in him.  He’d pushed you too hard and he was going to lose all of it.  You turned and melted in against him, sobbing against his chest.  “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, and now I’m worried if I lean on you too much, if I start thinking of you as being in my life for good, it will go to shit, and I won’t be strong enough to move on.”

“Oh, babe,”  Clint said, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.  “I feel like I don’t deserve you.  I want this though.  You.  I want to try to have the normal life I never quite got right before.  I’ll do whatever you want me to do.  I can go to those lessons with you.  I can be there when you have this baby.  You can put my name on the birth certificate if you want to.  Shit… shit… if you wanna go to Vegas now and get married.  I’ll marry you.”

You chucked a little against him, though it was weak and you were still crying.  “You don’t want to marry me.”

“Well… I mean, no.  But I will if it shows you that I’m serious about this.”

You looked up at him, your eyes were red and bleary.  “What do you actually want?”

“I guess… I want to be your boyfriend.”  He said.  “I want my kids to know we’re together.  I want to be the person who helps you with this.  To go on some actual dates together.  Then when we both think it’s time, for you to move in with me.”

You nodded.  “Okay.”  You said and pressed your face back against his chest.  “Please don’t hurt me.  I don’t think I could take it.”

He let out a breath.  “I won’t.  Nat would come back to life just to kill me if I did anything like that.”

You laughed softly.  “I wish I could have met her.”

“Mm… me too.”  He said.  He wanted to say so much more.  That if you could meet her maybe he wouldn’t be here.  Maybe she would have kicked his ass so he could have got it together for Laura.  Or maybe if she was here he wouldn’t be here at all.  But he still wished she was here.  Not for the first time, he began to cry for Natasha.  Tears silently slipped down his cheeks as he held you thinking about all the things he wished were different.

“Okay,”  You whispered and looked up at him.  You gently brushed his tears away with your thumb.  “Okay, Clint.  You’re my boyfriend.  But if we do this.  We have to do it properly.  We aren’t just dating for fun.  This is leading to something.  If it’s not working we say and bow out before anyone gets hurt and if it’s too late for that, we work at it.  You introduce me to your kids as your girlfriend.  You come to my birthing classes with me.”

Clint nodded.  “Alright.”

“I do love you, Clint.  Even if this doesn’t work, you’re going to always be special to me.”  You said.

He nodded again.  “I - I uh - Love you too.”  The words were difficult to say, but he definitely meant them.  It was weird.  He didn’t know he still had that in him.  He thought he’d used up his ability to fall in love and crushed it when he went on that killing spree.  Yet, here he was.  Not the man he was before the dusting.  Not the man he was in those five years either.  Someone new.  Someone in new love all over again.

You leaned in and kissed him.  He could taste the salt of your tears on his lips and he pulled you a little closer to him, holding you reassuringly tightly, his hands caressing your back.  The kiss was slow and deep and full of love.

You pulled back and looked up at him smiling.  It was a slightly scared smile.  He knew how you felt.  This was scary.  A lot could go wrong.  The reward would be worth it, so he’d have to channel his inner Natasha monologue not to fuck it up.

“You want to take a shower with me and then I’ll take you out to dinner?”  He asked.

You chuckled.  “Will, we both fit?”

Clint smiled and ran his hand up your side.  “I’m sure we can figure it out.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @clintbartonbingo - Cuddling

You woke slowly and moved a little closer to Clint.  His arms closed around you almost reflexively, pulling you closer to him still.  You kissed his neck and he made a happy little grumbling sound.  You kissed a little lower and ran your hands up his back and he slowly pried his eyes open.

He hummed softly.  “That’s a really nice way to wake up.”

“Mmm hmmm, well you do have to wake up, we have a big day today.”  You said.

He whined and nuzzled into your neck.  “Really?”

“Yes, really.  We have a doctor’s appointment and then we gotta drive upstate and get the kids.”

Clint whined again and he wriggled against you like he was trying to hide from you by burrowing inside of you.  “Can’t we stay a little bit longer?”  He mumbled against your skin as his hands skimmed up your sides.  “I can think of something fun to do.”

You chuckled and tilted your head back.  “I allocated time for that.”

He chuckled and raised his head looking into your eyes.  “You did?”  He asked.  “You know me so well.”

You burst out laughing and kissed him.  He deepened the kiss, his tongue coaxing your lips apart and circling yours.  He cupped your breasts and teased your overly sensitive nipples with his thumbs, drawing out a deep moan from you.

You trailed your fingers over him, running over the dips and curves of his body, and tracing over old scars.  He hummed softly and began to kiss along your jaw to the pulse point under your ear, where he sucked softly.

You moaned softly and ran your hands down to the waistband of his boxers, you slipped one inside and slowly began to jerk him off.  He groaned and kissed lower, pulling one of your nipples into his mouth and sucking on it, sending a dull ache through it.  As he did his hand slipped into your panties and began to tease at your clit.

“How are you already this wet?”  He teased as he ran his finger up and down your folds.

You mewled and pushed against his hand.  “Don’t know.  Stupid being pregnant.”

“That seems like a nice side effect to me.”  He teased and pushed two fingers inside you.  You moaned and squeezed around them and he bit down on your nipple sending a sudden jolt through you that seemed to spread right down to your cunt, making your fluids run down his fingers.

He curled his fingers and slowly moved them in and out, seeking out your g-spot.  When he finally hit it and pressed down on its surface you gasped and bucked up under him, your legs tensing and your toes curling.  “Fuck, Clint!”

He looked down at you with a smug smile on his face and started dragging his fingers over your g-spot again and again until your whole body quivered and with a sudden jerk you came over his hand.

“There you go.”  He hummed stroking you through your orgasm.  When he pulled his hand away he licked his fingers clean.

“They weren’t lying when they said you never miss your target, were they?”  You joked.

Clint snorted.  “Nope, I hit it every time.”

You kissed him and rolled onto your side.  He pushed his boxers off and spooned you from behind, one hand going to your breast, the other cradling your stomach.  Slowly he began to rut against your ass, his cock rubbing up and down your folds and becoming slick with you wet.

He angled himself a little and with a snap, he entered you.  You moaned and leaned back against his chest, nuzzling and kissing at his neck as he began to rut into you.  “Harder, Clint.”  You moaned, and he picked up his pace, thrusting hard up into you as he squeezed and massaged your tits.

“Fuck!  That’s it!”  You cried, moving with him.

He ran his hand down over the swell of your stomach and began to finger your clit as he pinched and pulled on your nipples.  It was too much, your whole body spasmed and clenched and you came with a cry, arching back against Clint.  He groaned and with a few more thrusts he came with you.

You both stayed like that for a moment.  Him still inside you, cradling you.  “How much more time do we have.”

You hummed.  “A little bit.”

“Good.”  He said, nuzzling into your hair and slipping out of you.

You ran your fingers down his arm, tracing along the sinewy muscles and defined veins.  “Does your tattoo mean anything?”

Clint made a small sound against your neck before clearing a throat.  “It represents a Ronin.”  He said.  “You know a samurai without a master?”

“Don’t you use a bow and arrow, not swords?”  You asked.

Clint laughed and pulled you a little closer to him.  “Alright.  You’re gonna get my tragic backstory.  You ready?”

You rolled in his arms to face him and looked up into the blue of his eyes.  “Your tragic backstory, huh?”

He rubbed his nose against yours.  “Mm-hmm… in all its gory detail.”

You kissed the tip of his nose.  “Go.”

“So … when I was a kid, my parents died in a car accident.  I wasn’t very old and me and my brother went into foster care and got bounced around from abusive family to abusive family.”  He said.

You felt a slight pain in your chest.  The reason why he’d originally taken such an interest in helping you now seeming that much clearer.  You cupped his jaw and stroked his cheek with your thumb.  “I’m so sorry, Clint.”

He shrugged a little.  “Wasn’t any better when they were alive, to be honest.  Didn’t catch much of a break with decent adults to model myself after.”  You pressed your forehead against his and he smiled sadly and ran his hand over your stomach.  “Eventually me and my brother ran away and joined the circus.  Yes literally.  It wasn’t that much better there but at least no one hit me.”

“Clint…”  You said softly and he shook his head.

“Told you.  Tragic backstory.”

The fact he had to hide behind the humor hurt you just that little bit more.  You frowned and ran your fingers through the back of his hair and pulled yourself a little closer to him.

“Anyway, I had these two mentors who taught me things that they thought would work both in the circus and with the circuses less legal things.  One taught me archery.  The other taught me how to use a sword.  I was good at both.  Like really good.  I liked archery more so in the circus I mostly did that, and then when I was recruited by SHIELD I just went with sharp shooting.  I mostly used a gun you know?  Swords and bows don’t work that well in the spy world.  Just, I do better with a bow.  So if I could use one, I would.  Then the Avengers happened and I figured I’m just some guy with a bunch of people with gimmicks, I’ll give myself the bow as my gimmick.

“Then the dusting happened and I snapped.  I went to my sword.  It’s more personal like that.  Up close.  Face-to-face.  That’s how I wanted to kill them.  I didn’t have the Avengers anymore.  I didn’t have my family.  I was alone with my sword.  Like the Ronin.”

“Now you’re stuck with it.”  You said.

He let out a huff and nodded.  “Yep.  But… maybe that’s for the best.  I don’t want to hold on to all that, but I did do it.  This can be my, chill out Barton tattoo.”

“It is pretty hot for a chill out tattoo.”  You teased.

He chuckled and rolled so he was above you, looking down into your eyes.  “Well, as long as it’s hot.”  He brought his lips to yours and you kissed him deeply.  You hummed and tugged on his hair before pulling back reluctantly.

“We better get ready to go.”  You said.

“Yeah alright.”  He said and rolled out of bed.

* * *

 

The two of you showered together and got ready to go.  Clint drank coffee with breakfast and then packed more two more to go.

“Is there a reason you haven’t found out what you’re having?”  He asked when you got to the hospital.

You shrugged.  “Just… felt like something you learn so you can get all excited with your partner with and then go paint nurseries and get all pink or blue clothes.  I didn’t have anyone to get excited with and I don’t really care for gender stereotyping.  I also don’t have any idea what to call the little peanut.”

Clint took your hand, linking his fingers with yours.  “You can get excited with me.  I mean if you want.  We don’t have to buy a baseball glove or a tutu or anything.”

You chuckled and leaned against him.  “If I can find out today, we can find out.”

* * *

 

“Hi, I’m Doctor Swann,”  Your doctor said introducing herself to Clint.  “You must be the father.”

Clint shook her hand and laughed a little.  “I’m the boyfriend, not the father.  Clint Barton.”

A whole slew of reactions seemed to pass over your doctor’s face before they settled to a slightly off neutral.

“Okay, judgy.  Be a little professional.”  Clint said and you grinned and kissed his cheek.  He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and gave you a squeeze.

“Alright.  I’ll start with your blood pressure, was there anything you were worried about.”  She asked getting out the blood pressure cuff.

“We were wondering if there was a way we could find out the sex of the baby today.  I know that’s normally a blood test or ultrasound tech thing that happens way earlier, but …”

“It should be fine.  I wanted to take a look with the ultrasound machine anyway.”  She said.

She went through all the routine things for the appointment.  Then got you up on the table to take a look at the baby.  She checked measurements and the heartbeat then moved the wand around to find out the sex.

“Okay, so… it looks like you’re having a little girl.”  She said.

Clint grinned at you and kissed the top of your head.  It was a weird sensation having someone to share this with after so long of just drifting through this pregnancy thinking about how much harder things would be when the baby was born.  “A little girl.”  You said.

“Wanna go buy a tutu now?”  He teased.

You hit him in the chest and he leaned down and kissed you lovingly.  He pulled back and looked down at you.  “It feels good knowing doesn’t it?”

You nodded and cuddled into him as the doctor cleaned you up actually feeling really excited to meet your daughter.  Now you just had to think of a name.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @clintbartonbingo - Nightmares

As your pregnancy progressed so did your relationship with Clint.  There was this lingering feeling that maybe you were moving too fast.  Maybe the two of you carried too much pain and the fact that when you were together things felt easier was making those feelings of love you had for him too intense and you were worried that they might not actually be real.  You worried that you hadn’t given yourself enough time on your own to let yourself make your own way and figure yourself out.  You’d just jumped out of an abusive relationship into the arms of the first person who treated you kindly.

The thing was, you did actually love him.  Part of that love was how he made you feel.  How he protected you and made you feel safe.  How he made you laugh.  How much he’d done for you.  It wasn’t just that though.  You loved all those other things about him.  How vulnerable he let himself be with you.  How good of a dad he was to his kids.  How he still had a good relationship with his ex.  How much of a dork he was.

The simple fact was, that being around him was better than not being around him.  So things did move quickly.  You went from neighbors to basically living together within six months.  So as the due date for your baby rapidly approached you began to wonder if the nursery you were preparing in your own apartment was even worth it if you spent all your time at Clint’s.

You were a little reluctant to bring it up though.  Things were going fast and if he wasn’t ready to ask, then you didn’t want to push it.

The problem was that with all the pregnancy hormones and stress and anxiety you’d have over the past relationship ending, making it on your own, new job, new relationship, baby things, the vivid stress dreams were now starting to get to you.

“No!”  You shouted, snapping awake.  Sweat clung to your skin and your heart was hammering as you found it hard to pull in air.  Clint reacted quickly, grabbing his hearing aids and rubbing your back.  “Shh… it’s okay.  You’re safe.”  He soothed as he put his aids in.

You rubbed your chest and as Clint wrapped his arms around you, you leaned into him.  You still felt tense and anxious even as he held you.

“What was it this time?”  He asked.

“I had the baby and I was in my own place.  I was asleep…”

“You were asleep in your dream?”  Clint asked.

“Yeah.  I must have been because she woke me crying.  I was alone and I went to the room and Richard was there.  He took her.  He said I wasn’t a fit mother and that she was his now.  And I tried to get her off of him but he hit me.  He knocked me down and walked off and then when I chased after him there was nothing outside the door.  It was just a void.  I was alone in my apartment and nothing else existed.”

“Oh, babe,”  Clint soothed.  “He’s never getting his hands on you or your baby.  I promise.”

“What if he gets out?  It’s his baby.”  You said.

Clint held you rubbing your back.  “Doesn’t matter.  It’s not his kid.  It’s mine.  Remember?”

You were about to argue with him when the bedroom door opened.  “Daddy?”

Nate’s tiny little voice sounded so frightened and concerned, you began to feel guilt on top of the anxiety and fear you’d already been carrying.

“Everything’s fine, bud,”   Clint reassured him.

Nate looked at you and tiptoed toward the bed.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, sweetie.  I had a bad dream.  Thank you for coming and checking on me.”  You said.

Nate climbed up into the bed with you both and cuddled up to you wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his cheek on your shoulder.  He patted your shoulder, his little hands tapping out a pattern on your skin.  “It’s okay.  You don’t need to be scared.”  He said softly.

You hugged the little boy back and felt yourself relax a little more.  “Thank you, Nate.  You’re very sweet.”

“We’ll look after you.”  He said softly.

You smiled and kissed the top of his head, looking at Clint in the low light.

“Hey, buddy.  You think you want to go back to sleep?”  Clint asked.

Nate seemed to think seriously on the issue.  “Umm… no.  I’m okay.”

Clint started laughing and picked up his phone.  “It’s 6.  What do you think?”

You shrugged.  “I mean, I’d like more sleep but I can do 6.  I nap in the afternoon these days anyway.”

Clint chuckled.  “Alright.  You hear that, bud.  We can go make pancakes and watch some cartoons.”

Nate jumped out of bed and ran out into the living room.  Clint gave you a kiss on the top of the head.  “I am gonna need a whole pot of coffee.”

You laughed and poked him.  “How is that different from any other day of the week?”

The two of you slowly dragged yourself out of bed and made your way out to the kitchen.  Nate was pulling bowls and pans out of the cupboards he could reach and carefully putting them up on the bench.  “Your son is very sweet you know?”  You said as you watched him.

Clint smiled and went to the pantry and pulled out the flour, sugar and baking soda.  “I know, he’s related to me.”

You laughed and went to the fridge.  “That must be it.”

Clint lifted Nate off the ground and put him on the kitchen counter.  “Alright, kiddo.  Let’s make some pancakes.”

You went and put on the coffee and then watched as Clint helped Nate carefully measure out the ingredients into a bowl.  “You know what’s a little weird.  Tony and Pepper had a kid like four years after this guy was born, but because of the blip she’s actually the same age as him.”

“That is strange.”  You said going to heat up a pan.  “We should ask Pepper out for a playdate.”

Clint gave a half smile.  “Yeah… that’s a good idea.  I think … yeah, they should be friends.”

You leaned over and kissed his cheek.  There were things he wasn’t saying.  Feeling he wasn’t quite ready to express.  Tony Stark’s daughter was going to grow up without a father because he gave his life doing the thing that brought his children back.  He was going to get to see his kids grow up.  He could have more kids if he wanted.  Tony, even after all he sacrificed, would not.

Clint offered you a small smile, and had you not had a pan heating up on the griddle and a five-year-old sitting on the kitchen bench, you would have pulled him in your arms and kissed him and told him that he didn’t have to keep carrying these burdens with him anymore.  That his friends had wanted him to live a good life, not just feel guilty that it wasn’t him.  Instead, you rubbed his back and let your hand slide down, pinching his ass before taking it away.

The small smile turned into a soft laugh and a shake of the head and he grabbed a ladle and scooped a blob of pancake mixture into the pan.

“So I was thinking,”  Clint said.

“Don’t strain yourself.”  You teased.

“Ha-ha.  Very funny.  I’m the dad here, you leave the dad jokes to me.”  Clint teased.  Nate started giggling and Clint ruffled his hair.  “Anyway… what was I saying?  Oh yeah, I was thinking if we took this wall down, we could extend the kitchen out.  Have a floating bench in the middle.  Be better than this dinky little kitchen I’m always banging my head in.  And then the living room in that apartment could be a dining area and we’d have five bedrooms. Which means the kids could all have their own room and poor Coop wouldn’t have to share with this little terror.”

You stared at Clint, open-mouthed, holding the flip in your hand.

“Daddy.  The pancake.”  Nate said.  Clint reached forward and guided your hand, using it to turn the pancake over using the flip.

When you finally seemed to come unstuck and started processing what he’d just suggested you turned to him.  “What … what… what…?  Why would you do that?”

Clint let out a huff and shook his head a little like he was a little annoyed.  You wondered if maybe he’d been trying to avoid a conversation that you’d just forced him into.  He took the flip from you and took the pancake off the pan and put it on a purple plastic plate.  He put Nate on the ground and put syrup on the pancake before handing the plate to the little boy.  “Okay, bud.  Go watch cartoons.”  He said grabbing a fork for him.

You watched Nate carry his plate to the couch and turn on the tv.  Clint moved you to the side and took over cooking.  “I want you to move in with me.”  He said.

“Is this about the nightmare?”  You asked.

“Yes.  No.  I mean…”  He shook his head.  “You’re obviously worried about being alone, but I’ve been thinking of asking you for a little while.  I know it’s fast.  I do.  But I want it.  You basically already live with me.  I hate the idea of you going back over there alone when the baby’s born.”

“Clint, you don’t owe me…”

“I know.  I know I don’t.  I love you.  I want us to live together.  Will you move in with me?”  He asked, turning to you.

“It’s really soon, Clint.”  You said.

“I know.”

“We could get really hurt.”

He put his hands on your arms.  “I know that too.  I think it’s worth the risk.  If you don’t, I get it.”

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “Okay.  Let’s do it.”

He smiled and leaned in and kissed you.  You melted into it, letting him take the lead.  He pulled back slowly and leaned his forehead against yours.  For a moment the two of you just looked at each other and he pulled back and went back to cooking.  “So what do you think?”

“Five bedrooms is so much for New York.”  You said.

He shrugged.  “I technically own the whole building.”   He said.

“That’s true.  I guess it would be good for Cooper to have his own space.  And I like the idea of a dining area.”  You said.

“Plus two bathrooms.”  He said.

“Oh god, yes.  We definitely need two bathrooms.”  You agreed.

“Alright.  We should get a start on it.  Won’t be long before this little girl joins us and we run out of time.”  He said putting his hand on your stomach.

You looked down at his hand and put yours on top of it.  “Did you mean it about her being yours?”

He nodded.  “Yeah.  She’s mine.  He’s not going to have any claim to her at all.  Okay?”

Tears pricked your eyes and you tucked yourself into his side and nuzzled his neck.  “I love you so much, Clint.”

He kissed the top of your head.  “I love you too.  And I’d love you even more if you’d go pour me out some of that coffee.”

You chuckled and went and grabbed him a mug, letting yourself relax and just be excited for things to come.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @clintbartonbingo - Time Travel

The apartment was loud and Clint was feeling pretty good.  He’d taken down the wall in the kitchen and was in the process of sanding down the new drywall that connected the old apartment with the new one.  There was still a lot of work to do.  The floors didn’t match.  There were now two ovens and two dishwashers and two fridges and neither were connected.  The cupboards didn’t match or even connect together.  Plus he wanted to put in a floating island.

He had lots of plans really.  Taking out one of the staircases and replacing the remaining one with something in a polished hardwood.  Connecting the two upstairs bedrooms with a hall.  Making the two half bathrooms up there a full.  Painting the walls.  He had big plans to make this his new family home the way he had made the farmhouse his home when he’d bought it with Laura.

Right now, he was most worried about patching up the wall before the baby got here.  He still had four weeks, so he wasn’t worried.  He just relaxed and did the job while his music played and the kids tore around the room with Lucky.  It sounded and felt like he was finally home.

“You know what?  I might take these guys to the park.  They’re bouncing off the walls.”

Your voice snapped him out of his reverie.  He looked up to see you heaving yourself out of the couch.  “You sure?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  You said.  “We can get some ice cream or a pretzel or something.”

“Alright.  But bring me back something.”  He said.

“Come on kids.  We’re going out.”  You called as you went to grab the leash for Lucky.

Clint went back to focusing on what he was doing and singing along with the music.  He was vaguely aware of the commotion going on around him.  Lila chasing Nate to try and get his shoes on.  Lucky bouncing and barking as he waited for the kids to get ready.  It was all background noise though.  The happy chaos of his family.

“Dad… Dad!”

It took him a moment to realize that Lila was calling him.  It wasn’t until she came over and hit him in the arm that it sunk in that she’d just said dad at least 5 times in a row.  He looked up started.  “What is is, Lie?”

She pointed at you and he looked over.  There was a large wet patch on your pants and a pool of liquid around your feet.

“Oh shit!  Shit!”  He said putting his tools down.  “But it’s too early!  We’re not ready!  You’re supposed to be at your mom’s when this happened.”

“Well, we’re not, dad.”  Lila snarked.

“Shit.”  He repeated and ran his hands down his face.  “Coop!  Call your mom!  Tell her the baby is coming.  Lila can you run down to Mrs. White in 3B and ask if she can watch you guys until your mom gets here.”

“Dad!  I’m not a little kid.  I can take care of Nate.”  Lila argued.

He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  “I know, honey.  But we don’t have time to clean up the tools.”

“I’ll pack them up now.”  She said.

He went over to her and pulled her into a hug kissing the top of her head.  “What would I do without you?”   He asked.

“Completely fall apart apparently.”  She teased.

He chuckled.  “Well, you aren’t wrong.  Thank you, sweetheart.”

Lila went and started packing up the tools and pain and putting them up out of Nate’s reach while Clint approached you.  “Alright.  Let’s get you into fresh pants and pack a bag.  I guess you need to call the hospital?”

You nodded, still seemingly frozen in confusion, looking down at yourself and Lucky who was bouncing around on his lead.  Clint leaned down and unhooked him, making the dog give him the purest look of betrayal he’d ever seen.

“Sorry, buddy.”  He said, patting his head.  “The baby’s coming.”

“Clint?”  You said.  “It’s too early.”

“I know, honey.  But your water just broke. I think she’s coming.”  He said rubbing your back.

“But… there’s still four weeks.  We aren’t ready.”  You said.

“You’re telling me!”  He said.  “Come on.  You’re standing in amniotic fluid.   It’s gross.  Let’s go.”

He led you upstairs and while you changed and made a phone call to the hospital, he hurriedly threw things into an overnight bag.  He tried to remember what it was they had told them you’d needed in birthing classes and what was in the bag when Laura had Nate.  Changes of clothes.  Comfortable pajamas with button up tops.  Maternity bra.  Diapers.  Nursing pads.  Maternity Pads.  They’d said things like candles too but he wasn’t sure if you even wanted that kind of thing.

You hung up the phone and looked up at him.  “They said to just come in but don’t stress.  I haven’t had any contractions so there’s no rush.”

Clint let out a breath.  “Okay good.  ‘Cause I have no idea what I’m doing.”

You laughed and got up, going to look through the bag at what he’d packed.  “She’ll be okay won’t she?”  You asked.

“Yeah, of course.  It’s all going to be good.”  He assured you, though he really had no idea.  It was still in the scary early point of your pregnancy and he wasn’t sure what that would mean.

You finished packing the bag and went downstairs together.  Lila had finished packing up the tools and even put the playpen you’d brought for the baby around the construction to stop Lucky and Nate from getting in there.

“Lila, you are a champion.”  He said.

“Mom’s on her way but it’s gonna take a couple of hours before she gets here,”  Cooper said.

“You guys sure you’ll be okay that long?”  Clint said.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine,”  Lila assured him.

“Well, if you need anything go ask Mrs. White or call Katie.  Okay?”

“Go, dad.  We’ll be fine.”  Lila said.

He kissed the kids goodbye and headed down the street and hailed a cab.  Your contractions started on the way to the hospital but only mild and minor.

When you got to the hospital they checked you over and put a fetal heart rate monitor on you and then you just had to wait.  The labor proceeded slowly and due to wanting to monitor the baby you weren’t allowed to move around a lot.  By midnight you were well into the painful part of the labor and exhausted.

“I can’t do this.”  You cried as Clint held you.

“You can take the drugs you know?  They might help you sleep.”  Clint soothed.

“I should be able to have a baby,”  You complained.  “People do it every day.”

“People have car accidents every day too.  They still take painkillers for their whiplash.”

You chuckled and another contraction hit.  You groaned and gritted your teeth as Clint massaged your back.

“You’re doing great, babe.  You don’t need to prove anything to me.”  He said gently.

After that, you got an epidural which actually let you sleep for a little while.  Clint couldn’t pretend he wasn’t thankful for that when your active labor started 12 hours later.

They backed off the drugs so you could push and you went from calm and pretty relaxed to breaking his left hand and crying in less than half an hour.

“I can’t.  I can’t.  I can’t do it.”  You cried as you pushed.

“You’ve reached the too late point, dear.”  One of the nurses said.

“Come on, babe.  It’s gotten to the really gross bit.  Her hair is showing and you’ve shat yourself a few times.”  Clint said soothingly.

“I’ve done what?”  You cried.

“Yeah, it’s a horror show down there.  So let’s get to the good part with the baby.  Okay?”  Clint said.

You scowled at him and he leaned over and kissed the top of your head.

“Alright.  Push.”  The ObGyn said.

You bore down, squeezing Clint’s hand and your daughters head emerged.  “So close, honey,”  Clint said.

“You can see her?”

“Yeah, it’s super weird!”  He said.

“Clint.”  You whined.  “You’re not helping.”

“Alright.  One more big push okay, mommy.”  The ObGyn said.

You squeezed his hand again and with a large push, your baby girl slid into the world.  Squalling as she took her first breaths.  The medical staff moved in around her, checking her vitals and Apgar, giving her her first shots.  Making sure she was breathing.  You watched them with a fearful expression on your face, and when you passed the placenta they moved her right away from you.

“What’s going on?  Is she okay?”  You asked. 

“She’s just early, they just need to make sure she’s breathing on her own and her heart is beating fast enough.”  One of the nurses said.  “Can I get you some toast?  You have been through quite an ordeal.”

You nodded and she disappeared leaving you and Clint alone to watch the medical staff fuss over you and the baby.

“She’ll be fine,”  Clint said.  “Listen to her cry.  She’s got good lungs.”

You nodded, but you didn’t look very convinced.  He rubbed you back.  “She will.”

It was another fifteen minutes before she was brought to you.  “Here you go.  Just a brief cuddle, okay?  She’s going to need to go into the NICU.”  The doctor said.

They put her on your bare chest and you held her.  “She’s sick?”  You asked.

“Just needs a little help keeping warm.  She’s doing pretty good really.  Her APGAR is 6 which is low but not unexpected.  She’s going to be fine.”  The doctor reassured you.  “Do you have a name yet?”

You shook your head.  “No.  Not yet.”

She wrote on a card and little pink bands that she attached to the baby’s ankles.

“You really don’t have a name?”  Clint asked.

“I keep thinking I want to name her after Natasha.  But Nate is named after her.  It would be strange having a Nate and a Nat wouldn’t it?”  You said.  “Besides, I wanted you to have a chance to change your mind about all this.”

“All what?”  He asked.

“You know.  Being her dad.  The birth certificate thing.”  You said kissing her head.

Clint ran his palm down his new daughter’s back and kissed the crown of your head.  It still broke his heart a little that you thought like that.  Back when everyone had been returned from the dusting he had kept thinking about he would use Bruce’s time travel machine and go back, switch places with Nat so that she would be one that came home and got to live her life.  That she wouldn’t have to be as ashamed as he had felt not being able to hold his family together after she’d given her life to make sure he got to be there for them.  He hadn’t thought those things for a long time.  He hoped that she would be proud of what he had done.  What he was doing.  But in a way, it didn’t matter. He was in this.  You were his family too now.  She was his daughter.  He took a deep breath, inhaling you both.  “Don’t worry,”  He said.  “I’m not going anywhere.”


	9. Chapter 9

You had fallen asleep not long after you’d been moved to your maternity room.  It was a nice room.  Clint putting you on his health insurance meant you got the best.  No point risking your life all the time if there weren’t some perks.  It had a queen-sized bed.  A proper bed too.  Not just one of those uncomfortable hospital ones with the wheels.  There was a comfortable chair specially designed for breastfeeding.  A couch for visitors.  A big screen tv.  There was a private bathroom that even had a spa, though Clint didn’t quite understand who would want to actually stew in a pool of still water after they’d given birth.

After they’d brought you back to the room you’d fretted about the baby for a while and then passed out exhausted.  He’d napped with you, curled around you protectively.  It had been a long day and he was exhausted after everything.

He didn’t sleep deeply and woke just a few hours later.  He wasn’t sure what exactly was keeping him awake.  Perhaps he was just worried about you and wanted to be awake to take care of you if he needed it.  Maybe it was that the baby wasn’t in the room with you both.  When Laura had given birth Nate he’d just been left with them.  Now he had a new baby and they just weren’t here.

He got up and went to the hall.  It was busier out there with nursing staff moving around, babies crying, people taking little walks, flowers and teddy bears being delivered, and visitors coming to take a look at the new member of their family.  Clint made a few phone calls.  He called Laura first to check she made it to the kids okay and to let her know the baby was here. He spoke to the kids and told them about their new sister.  Then he called Kate to let her know too.  Finally, he rang Pepper.  You technically weren’t supposed to start your maternity leave for another week and while Pepper was way, way up the chain for who would actually be affected by you not showing up, he thought she might like to hear about the new baby Avenger.  He then texted some of the others to let them know too.  As soon as he did his phone began to buzz with congratulations.

It was touching that they cared really.  That even though the new baby wasn’t technically his, they were all on board with the idea that this baby was his.  That after all the death in the world they’d had to mourn, now they had a new life to celebrate.

After he’d made the calls he went for a short walk.  First to check on the baby.  She was so tiny and fragile looking as she slept in her incubator.  With what he knew about the Universe he hoped he was strong enough to protector her.  Or at least strong enough to know that sometimes you couldn’t and she’d have to live her own life too.  He ran his hand down her back and felt the small rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

“You get big and strong, little one.  We want to take you home as soon as we can.”  He whispered.

After visiting with her he went for a walk to the cafeteria, grabbing himself a coffee and a danish.  He wanted to bring you back something too but was worried you might not be allowed to drink coffee yet and he also didn’t want to wake you.  So he grabbed a bottle of Snapple and a danish for you too before heading back upstairs.

There was a large edible arrangement sitting at the door with a big pink plush duck sitting on top.  He looked at the card and saw it was from Pepper.  He was glad that he’d organized those few playdates with Pepper.  It was good seeing Morgan and Nate playing together and he wanted to keep that bond with Pepper now that Tony was gone.  It was too easy to put those things off until the people in your life you considered your family were just a bunch of strangers you tell people are your friends.  They’d all been through too much and lost too much to let that happen.  He and Pepper had lost more than anyone.

He scooped it up and carried it inside the room, finding you sitting up in bed looking at your phone.  “There you are.  I was about to text you.”  You said.

“Sorry,”  Clint said sheepishly.  “Didn’t mean to worry you.  Just thought I’d check on the baby.”

“Who’s that from?”  You asked indicating to the bouquet made from chocolates.

“Pepper sent it.  Cool, huh?”  He said putting it on the ledge behind the bed.  “Got you a drink and a danish too.”  He added plopping both in your lap and kissing you on the top of your head.

“It’s awesome.”  You said.  “How’s bubs?”

“She seems fine.  Tiny but some of the babies in there are hooked up to a bunch of things, she’s not.  So I take that as a good sign.”  He said.

You smiled and took a swig from the bottle before dragging over a pile of paperwork.  “Nurse dropped this off while you were gone. It’s the birth certificate stuff.  You sure you want to go on this.  I can keep the name blank.”

“Will you stop that?”  Clint said.  “I don’t want her to think my involvement in her life comes with conditions.  Okay?  I’m her dad.”

You curled into his side and grabbed a pen, writing in Clinton Francis Barton under father.  You let out a breath when you did and turned your head up to look at him.  He leaned in and kissed you deeply, his thumb caressing your neck as his lips moved with yours.

You pulled back and tapped your pen on the form.  “So just the name then.”

“You didn’t have any names you’d talked about before?”  He asked.

“I never talked to Richard about them.  When I was a kid I guess I had some favorites.”  You said.  “I just… is it weird that I want to pay tribute to your friends?  Natasha particularly.  It feels like she’s the reason why we’re together.”

Clint let out a soft breath, tears pricking his eyes.  “Nat was always setting me up with people.”  He said.  “Still doing it, huh?”

You smiled and nuzzled into him.  “Feels that way.”  You said.  “The problem is having a Nat and a Nate would be a little confusing.”

“Her middle name was Alianova,”  Clint said.  “Maybe we could do something with that?”

You pulled out your phone and started typing into it.  “Huh.  This says that means her dad’s name was Alian.”

Clint furrowed his brow.  “That’s weird.  Red Skull said it was Ivan.”  He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  He hated thinking about that moment.  Where he’d gone from being excited about flying an actual spaceship with his best friend, on his way to get his kids back to having to watch her die.  It didn’t matter what her father’s name was anyway.  She never knew who it was.

“Ali could be nice.”  You said.

“That’s normally short for something though.  What would it be short for?”  He said.

“It doesn’t have to be.  There’s a kid in New Zealand named ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’.  I don’t think there’s anything stopping us from just calling her just Ali.”  You said.

Clint choked.  “That can’t be true.”

“It is!  So… what do you think?”   You said.

“About the name ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’?  It’s a bit long.”  Clint teased.

You laughed and elbowed him.  “No.”

“If we’re just gonna give her a shortened name, why not Tasha?”  Clint said.

You looked back up at him and smiled.  “Tasha is good.  Works better with Antonia as a middle name too.”

Clint pulled you tight and kissed you again, holding you close.  He pulled back and looked down at you.  “I love you so fucking much, you know?”

“I love you too.”  You said, resting your head on his shoulder.  “So that’s what it is?  Tasha Antonia Barton?”

“Barton too?”  He said.

You pulled back from him pulling the papers closer.  “Shit.  Sorry.  I went too far, didn’t I?  It can be my name.”

Clint put his hand on yours.  It was scary really, but for some reason, he wasn’t second-guessing this at all.  “No.  I’d love for her to be a Barton.”

You kissed his cheek and filled in the name.  “Alright, you just gotta sign it and then we send it off.  Then that’s it.  She’ll have her name and you’re officially her dad.”

“Good,”  Clint said.  “We should do that right away then.”

There was a knock at the door and Laura peeked her head in.  “You up for visitors?”

“Sure.”  You said and she pushed the door open more letting in Cooper, Lila and Nate.

“We just finished naming her,”  Clint said as Nate climbed up into his lap.

“What did you choose?”  Lila asked as she put the large bouquet of sunflowers next to the edible one from Pepper.

“Tasha Antonia Barton,”  Clint said.  He noticed a look from Laura but he wasn’t quite sure what it was.  Surprise maybe.  She didn’t say anything though and he didn’t want to chase it.

“Where is she, daddy?”  Nate asked.

“She is very little and needs a bit of extra care so the doctors have her in a special room.  Do you want to go see her?”   Clint asked.

“Yes please, dad,”  Lila said.

Clint got up, lifting Nate onto his hip and pulling Lila into a headlock and kissing the top of her head.  “Alright, come on.  Are you coming to, hun?”

You got up out of the bed and pulled a robe on.  “Yes.  I might see if I can feed her.”

Your little group made your way down to the NICU.  When you got there the kids were looked over by a nurse, made to wash their hands and you were all led in.  “Here’s your little sister, Tasha,”  Clint said when they got to the incubator.

“What’s the fings for, daddy?”  Nate asked pointing at the wires that were attached to her.

“Just keeping track of her heart because she’s so small,”  Clint said.

“She’s really beautiful.  Congratulations.”  Laura said giving you a rub on the back.

“Thank you, Laura.”  You replied.

“Can we touch her?”  Lila asked.

“Yes, but gently just on her back,”  Clint said.

Each of the kids took turns putting a hand on her back and then Clint, Laura, and the kids were led out while you stayed behind and they put her against your chest to attempt breastfeeding.

Clint and Laura stood watching from the viewing window as you had Tasha tucked in under your shirt.  Laura sent the kids down to the vending machine in an attempt to stop them from getting bored.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”  Laura said putting his arm around Clint’s waist.

Clint put his arm around her shoulder and she tucked herself into his side.  Something she had done a million times before.  “Yeah?”  He said.

“Yeah.  You’ve really stepped up.  You’ve always been such a good dad.  This is gonna be no different.”  She said.  “Nat would be proud of you too.”

“I hope so.”  He said, keeping his eyes trained on you.

“When Damien was killed, I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love again.  Especially not with another SHIELD agent.  Then Nat pushed you at me, and you were such a huge dork but so good.  Not perfect but good.  You never pushed me faster than I could go.  You were always worried about us getting hurt.  Not just me, but the kids too.  I fell in love with you, and the kids did too in their own way.  When they asked if you’d adopt them you didn’t even hesitate when you said yes.”  Laura said, wiping her eyes.

Clint felt his heart stutter a little and guilt start to creep in, guilt for everything that went wrong that meant he was not the man that could hold that together anymore.  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  She patted his stomach reassuringly and looked up at him.  “No one predicted the blip.  It’s not your fault we couldn’t last it.  I’m really happy you’ve found love again though.  You deserve it.  It gives me hope too, that I might get it again too.  Things can be found after what happened.”

Clint turned and looked at her, frowning slightly.  “Of course you can.  You’re amazing, Laur.  You’ll get someone who deserves you.  Someone who will actually be around.”

“I hope so.”  She said and leaned up and kissed him. “Congratulations, Clint.  She’s beautiful.  You are going to be really happy”

Clint looked back in at you, and for the first time in a long time, he didn’t doubt that at all.


	10. Chapter 10

Coming home without Tasha had been hard.  You were ready to go home and get on with your life as a new mother.  Only Tasha was still too small and needed more time in the NICU.  So where you had been expected to be up most of the night feeding her and changing diapers, instead you had an empty crib and multiple trips to the hospital to check on her.

Clint had said it was a little bit of a blessing.  You weren’t sure if he was just saying that to try and make you feel better or not.  He was definitely a little highly strung on the return home.  He had told you that being home without her meant that he could get the apartment closer to being where he wanted it.

He really did get right into the renovations too.  Some of his friends came and helped, so there were days where the place was full of Avengers doing home repairs.

By the time you went to pick up Tasha to bring her home the walls had been painted, the floors sanded and polished so they matched and the kitchen had been finished with new appliances, countertops, and cabinets as well as a floating island and a new tile floor.

There was still a lot to do.  Upstair particularly hadn’t been changed at all.  It was two large unconnected bedrooms that you could only access via two different staircases on the opposite sides of the apartment.  Clint had big plans for replacing stairs and connecting the upstairs and putting in another half bathroom.  For now, it was enough that you now had a place that worked for your new family.  There were enough bedrooms for all the kids.

But finally, there was Tasha there with you both.

Being a new mother was tough but you really loved it.  Even as sleep-deprived as you were.  Clint was such a natural dad.  He only complained about the messy things like changing diapers and being puked on in a light joking way.  You never once doubted that he wasn’t enjoying the role of dad to the little girl.

You were actually happy.  This was the family you had always wanted and never expected to have.  It was easy to forget the shit that you’d struggled out of.  Clint seemed to feel the same way.  He was happier and more relaxed and now when he spoke about the people he’d lost that had led to where he was now, it was more about remembering the good things than being lost in the grief of what he’d lost.

The two of you made a new life with the family you blended together.  It was a kind of serendipity.  Maybe if either of you were asked there might be things you would change about each of your pasts.  No one deserves the abuse either of you had suffered and even a happy ending might not have made up for experiencing it in the first place.  You would both have wished Natasha alive if that kind of thing worked.

Still, you were happy and each day that passed the more the happiness outweighed any grief or guilt you still both carried.

It was easy to forget there was still bad in the world.

By the time Tasha was four months old, Cooper, Lila, and Nate were all staying over regularly again.  Things had been slightly erratic for the first few months while Laura let you and Clint adjust to the newborn.

It wasn’t an unusual day when Kate came around and she, Lila, and Clint were up on the rooftop doing target practice while you were downstairs with Cooper, Nate, and Tasha.  When there was a knock at the door you didn’t even think to check the peephole to see who it was.

“Cooper.  Can you turn that down a little?  It’s kinda loud.”  You called back as you pulled the door open.

“Found you.”

The voice of the man at the door sent a chill through you and you wheeled around to see Richard standing in the doorway.  You went to shove the door closed and he slammed it back at you, making it hit you hard in the face and sending you reeling.

“What do you think you’re doing, bitch?”  Richard seethed as he pushed his way inside.

“Get out of here, Richard.  There’s nothing here for you.”  You said trying to push him back out the door.

Cooper had jumped to his feet and moved to where Tasha was playing under her baby gym, kicking her feet happily.  “Nate, come here, bud.”  He said.

Richard struck you in the face knocking you to the ground.  Lights popped behind your eyes and your head spun as you tried to get back up off the ground.  “You aren’t allowed to be here.”  You said and you got on your hands and knees.  He kicked you, knocking your back over.  It felt like he’d broken a rib.

“I’m here for my kid.  You think you can keep them from me?”  He spat.

“Hey, you don’t hurt her!”  Nate yelled, puffing his chest out and putting his hands on his hips.

“Nate!”  Cooper called.  “Come here, buddy.”

Tasha had started to cry from all the yelling and Cooper scooped her up off the ground and held her close to his chest.

“Alright, kid.  Let’s not be a hero.  Give me the baby and I’ll leave.  She’s mine.”  Richard said, trying to sound reasonable.

“She is not.  She’s my sister.  You get out of here, mister!”  Nate ordered.

“Alright, this is moving past being cute,”  Richard said taking a few steps towards the kids.  “Give me the baby and no one else has to get hurt.”

“Cooper, take them to the bathroom and lock the door.”  You choked out as you tried to get back to your feet.

Cooper grabbed Nate by the arm and dragged him towards the bathroom.  Richard lunged at them and you grabbed his ankles, tripping him to his knees. He aimed a kick at your head and there was a thwip-woosh sound, and an arrow embedded itself into his shoulder.

“Fuck!”  He cursed, grabbing the bolt as you staggered to your feet.

Lila stood at the door with her bow drawn looking at the scene.  “Don’t you move.”  She said, though there was a shake in her voice.

“Cooper.”  You called.  “Take the kids up to your dad.”  You moved to block him and Nate from Richard as they passed him.

When Cooper got to the door, he began to run, dragging a protesting Nate with him.  You slowly moved towards Lila.  Her hands were shaking slightly but she kept the bow trained on Richard.

“Don’t be stupid, little girl,”  Richard warned.  “You’re not going to kill me.”

“Don’t need to,”  She said and dropped the aim to his groin.

“Come on, Lie,”  You said, putting your hand on her.  “Let’s go get your dad.”

Lila backed out with you, keeping the arrow pointed at him.  He lurched forward and she let the arrow loose.  It hit him in the thigh.  You both turned and ran to the stairwell, ignoring the burning pain in your face and side, and how hard it was to draw in each breath.

“Dad sent me down to get us drinks,”  Lila said as she ran.

“Oh god.”  You said. “I’m sorry, Lila.”

“It’s not your fault.”  She said.  “Come on.”

You burst through the door to the roof, you lungs burning as you slammed it behind you.  Clint was already on his way to the door as Kate took Tasha from Cooper.  “Where is he?”  Clint asked.

“Following I think.  Lila shot him.”  You babbled.  “Shot?  Is shot the right word.  Did you shoot him?”

“It’s alright.  It’s going to be okay.  He’s broken both his parole and the restraining order by just coming here.”  Clint soothed.  “I’ll be back.”

He ran from the room and Kate came and dropped Tasha into Lila’s hands.  “I’m going with your dad given I’m the actual Avenger here.”  She said and ran off after him.

You came over to Lila and put your arm around her.  “Are you okay, sweetheart?”  You asked.

She nodded.  “Never shot a person before.”  She said.  “Never shot anything that wasn’t a target.”

You kissed the top of her head.  “You saved us and he’s just hurt.  You did good.  But we’re gonna get someone you can talk to about this.”

She looked up at smiled at you.  “You should sit down.”

She helped you to one of the deck chairs on the roof.  The sound of sirens started echoing up from the street and Cooper went and looked over the edge of the roof.  “There’s police and ambulance coming.”

“Good,”  You said.  “That’s good.”  You held out your hands to Lila who was bouncing Tasha on her hip and pulling faces at her to get her to calm down.  “You want me to take her?”

“No, it’s okay.  I’ve got her.”  Lila said.  “You should get looked over by the paramedics before you hold her.”

Nate came over to you and climbed up on the deck chair resting against you and gently patting your stomach.  “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.  Thank you for being my brave hero.”  You said, gently.  “I love you kids so much, you know?”

“We love you too,”  Lila said.

“Yeah, we wuv you.”  Nate agreed, kissing your cheek.

“Someone just came out on a stretcher,”  Cooper called from the edge of the roof.

“Can you see who it is, Coop?”  Lila asked.

He leaned over the edge a little more.  “I think it’s the guy.  It’s not Kate anyway.”  He said.

“You sure it’s not dad?”  Lila asked.

“I’m pretty sure,”  Cooper said.  “Yeah.  I think it’s the other guy.”

“Good.  That’s good.”  Lila said, flopping down on another chair.  Tasha babbled happily and patted her cheeks.

“Should we go down and find dad?”  Cooper asked.

“We better wait here.”  You said.  “They’ll come up when they’re ready.”

Like your words had summoned him, Clint appeared in the door with a couple of paramedics and a police officer.  The kids all rushed over to him slamming into him.  He held them close, taking Tasha from Lila as he crouched down and pulled them close.  “It’s alright.  Everything’s fine.  You all did great.”  He soothed.  “You’re safe now.  Did anyone get hurt?”

Cooper shook his head as he melted in against his father.  “Not us.”

Clint indicated to the paramedics to go and see you.  They moved over and started looking you over.  Checking to see if he’d cracked any ribs and patching up your wounds.  They took photos of your injuries as they worked for evidence.

“Okay, guys.  We need to talk to the police too.  You’ll have to tell them what happened.  Okay?”  Clint said gently, as he looked his kids over.

“Yeah, we can do that,”  Cooper said.

“We’re going to need you to take you into the hospital for some x-rays.  I don’t like how that rib feels.” One of the paramedics said to you. 

Clint looked between you and the police officers.  “We will go with her to get checked out first okay?  I’ll bring them to the station later.  You’ve got Hawkeye giving a statement right?”

“Yes, she’s gone down there.  Just be sure you do.”  The officer said.

“Don’t worry, man. We want this over and done with.  For good.  We’ll be there.”  Clint said.

He came over to you holding both Nate and Tasha and crouched down kissing your forehead.  “Sorry I wasn’t there.”

You shook your head, trying not to cry.  “Sorry being with me means you even have to worry about that.”

“Oh, honey, don’t be stupid.”  He said and rubbed his nose against yours.  “He is not your fault.  Let’s get you patched up so we can get done with him for good.”

You nodded.  That was something you wanted more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special chapter for AusKitty


	11. Epilogue

For the first time in a long time it wasn’t the sound of a baby crying that woke you, but Clint’s lips on your neck.  You mumbled in a half-hearted protest.  The truth was, you were close to waking up anyway, and there were a lot worse ways to wake than slowly with neck kisses.  That half-asleep state made them feel that little bit more magical, causing your skin tingle.

His hands slid up your waist and he squeezed your breasts.  They were tender due to the need to breastfeed and the pressure on them made them throb slightly and sent a dull ache to your core.

You moaned and reached behind you, tangling your fingers in Clint’s hair.  “What are you doing?  You know they’re not going to let us actually do anything.”

Clint hummed softly against your neck.  “The baby is asleep.  Come on, let’s make a new one while we have a chance.”

You started giggling and elbowed him.  “Another one?  How many kids do you want, Barton?”

“How many are on a soccer team?”  He joked.

You rolled over so you were straddling him and looking down into his eyes.  “You’re gonna have to start seeing someone else.  I am not pushing that many babies out of me.”

Clint laughed and you leaned down and kissed him deeply.  He wrapped you in his arms and pulled you down into a deep kiss.  You rolled your hips down against him as he hardened under you.  He moaned against your lips and tugged on your hair.

You hummed softly and pulled back a little.  “You’re gonna have to be much quieter if you wanna do this.”

“Why don’t you make me?”  He smirked.

You tapped his cheek and wriggled out of your panties, balling them up in your fist as you settled back down on him.  He looked from you to your hand and back again a cheeky smile crossing his features before he opened his mouth wide.  You shoved your panties into his mouth and began to grind on his cock again.

The cotton of his boxers rubbed on the slick of your cunt, soaking the fabric as your arousal grew.  Clint moaned and pawed at you, the sound muffled by your panties.  You grabbed his hands and pinned them over his head.   He didn’t struggle, but his biceps flexed and the tendons stood out as he arched up under you.

“You want something, Clint?”  You teased.

He made a muffled groan and jerked up under you.  You reached down and pushed his boxers down, freeing his cock.   “We gotta be quick,” You whispered as you lowered yourself down on his cock.

He moaned and nodded and you began to ride his cock quickly.  Up and down, up and down as you panted and moaned softly.  You ran one hand down his bare chest and over his stomach until you reached the base of his cock.  He groaned into your panties and looked up at you with lust blown eyes.  You made a V shape with your fingers around the base of his cock and used them to massage his shaft as you used your thumb to rub your clit.

Clint arched and bucked up under you as you rode him, getting closer and closer to the edge.  As your orgasm peaked you let his hands go and pressed your face into his neck.  He wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you came, shuddering around his cock.  He jerked up into you and spilled inside of you.

You flopped down on top of him and Clint pulled the panties out of his mouth and tossed them lazily aside.  The two of you just lay like that, breathing heavily as you both came down from your orgasm highs.

A lot had happened since Richard had shown up and attacked you.  Everyone has made statements, including the kids.  Because Richard had now attacked and Avenger, one of the ones who had brought people back from the dusting even, they put him in the same basket as supervillains.  They’d called him a terrorist and he’d ended up being sent to the raft.

With him well and truly put away, that last little piece of pressure was taken off and you were truly free to be happy.  So that’s what you were.

You and Clint built your life together.  He did the renovations on the apartment, connecting the upstairs bedrooms by a hall and adding another.  Turning one of the rooms downstairs into the Master bedroom.

After nine months you went back to work and Clint stayed home. He was really meant for this whole parenting gig more than anyone you’d ever met.

The sound of a baby crying shook you both out of your semi-catatonic states.  “Right on cue,”  Clint said as you rolled off him.

“It was nice we got to finish at least.”  You said as you grabbed a robe.

“He has good timing, he is my son after all.”  Clint teased.

That was the other big change.  Eighteen months after the birth of Tasha you and Clint decided to have another.  It wasn’t a quick decision.  Clint did have four kids already at that point, but in the end, the pull to extend your family together as a couple had been stronger.  Ten months later, Charles was born.  On-time and with a lot less drama this time.  That was four months ago.

“You go get him while I go quickly shower.”  You said as you headed into the bathroom.

Clint saluted and headed out of the room.   When you were clean and changed you came out to find Clint soothing the little boy as Lucky lay at his feet wagging his tail.  “Here’s your momma.”  He said as you took a seat in your rocker and grabbed your breastfeeding pillow.  “You’re gonna get your breakfast now.  What a lucky boy.”

He handed him over and as you began to feed him Tasha’s bedroom door opened and the two and a half year old stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes. 

“There’s my little warrior princess,”  Clint said going over to her.  Lucky reached her first and began to lick her face.  She giggled and scrunched her hands in his fur.  When Clint reached her she held up her arms and he picked her up and put her on his hip.  “Did Charlie wake you up?”

“Ummm…”  She said in her cute little high pitched voice.  “Wawre, Nay?”

“He’s not here yet, sweetie,”  Clint said.  “Auntie Laura will bring him later today with Cooper and Lila.”

“Oh.”  She said and then babbled a little in baby talk.

Clint chuckled and kissed her cheek.  She scrunched up her face and wiped it away.  “Are you hungry?”

She nodded and patted his cheek.

“What do you feel like today, your majesty?”  He asked carrying her into the kitchen.

“Pakes.”  She said simply.

“Mmm pancakes sounds good to me too.”  You agreed as you played with Charlie’s fingers.

“You hear that, your majesty?  Mommy wants pakes too.”  He said as he got out the things he needed.  “What do you want to do when Nate gets here?  Shall we take you all to the zoo?”

Tasha made a happy squeaking sound and started bouncing in Clint’s arms.  It made Lucky dance under Clint’s legs and try and lick her feet.  Clint stopped what he was doing and hugged her, a look of pure happiness etched on his features.  Like in that moment he was perfectly at peace with his place in the world.  That right then and there the very thing Natasha had died for he’d just achieved.  Her legacy had been fulfilled.

You smiled up at him.  “Happy, Clint?”  You asked.

He looked over at you and smiled.  “Completely.”


End file.
